On the Education of Children


Ralphie is the lovable kid in glasses of the now American classic movie, A Christmas Story. If you own a TV you know that Ralphie wants a Red-Rider BB gun for Christmas. In the build-up to the big day, we are given endearing glimpses into Ralphie’s friends and family. In a stressful moment, Ralphie lets loose with a bad word. Not just a bad word, but a big bad word. His mother is mortified and immediately gets out the soap. Ralphie has to suck on soap for a while. Grownups used to call it “getting your mouth washed out with soap” but it’s more like eating soap. Then after an appropriate time of punishment, Ralphie’s mom wants to know where he heard “that word.”

In narrator’s voiceover Ralphie tells us that his old man had been using curse words around him for years. Ralphie’s dad used curse words like Picasso used charcoal and paints. But Ralphie is no fool. He knows the very worst thing for him to say would be, “I learned to curse from my dad.” That would be suicide. Better to take the lickin’ than to get mom or dad thinking about than own shortcomings as parents.

It’s a sobering thought to be a parent and to see your own sins running around on two feet. Oh, it’s all sweet and good when you bring the baby home from the hospital and everyone ooh’s and aah’s and says, “Oh, she has your eyes!” or “Oh, look he has two ears!”

But it’s quite another when they get a little older and the temper comes out and somebody says, hey, he has a temper just like you do. Well, where did the temper in the two year old come from? Educational psychologists have shed light on the stages of early child development that explain what and maybe why certain behaviors happen early on. But most experts agree that the “Terrible Twos” should be pretty well over by say age fourteen or fifteen, or thirty-two, for that matter.

Let’s face it. Kids can be bad. Not just the kids of the bad parents either. In fact, you could say that what makes good parents, good parents, is they seem to be more aware or specifically, more attentive to the fact that their kids can be bad and do bad things. Good parents don’t let the bad things slide. Good parents correct bad behavior. They are no shocked that it happens, and they are not resigned to it either.

Christians believe that human beings are born bad – how bad depends upon your particular Christian tradition. We are created in the image of God and so have beauty, and goodness, and potential. But somehow the first human beings disobeyed their Creator and sinned. The Scriptures attest that something has gone wrong in human nature because of Adam and Eve. It’s not just that we do bad things, but that we are bad things at the deepest of levels.

Take our Gospel story for example. Jesus is called to the home of a Canaanite woman in the region of Tyre. The woman cries for mercy – “My little girl is possessed by a demon.” Notice Jesus doesn’t say, “Woman, you’re overreacting.” Or, “well, let’s see about that.” Jesus acts like the woman is telling the truth. In fact, Jesus goes on to heal (presumably by exorcising the demon) the little girl.

Now think about that. Everyone involved in the episode – Jesus, the disciples, the woman’s family – assumes that it’s not only possible but likely that a little girl is possessed by evil.

Now try to imagine anyone in your social circle ever entertaining that possibility about their own kids. Be serious now. It’s obvious we would not. It goes against the grain of our modern beliefs, which are in general, ignorant of spiritual realities, and indifferent or hostile to the doctrine of Original Sin.

G.K. Chesterton has said that Original Sin is the only provable Christian doctrine. You don’t have to look farther than your own household to see it in action. Look at the whole world around you and ask yourself, “What is the nature of humanity?” Well, the doctrine of Original Sin has extraordinary explanatory power.

But it’s still complex and mysterious. Through the ages theologians have employed various metaphors to describe how the sin of Adam and Eve came to affect all their descendants. Early church Fathers like Augustine used words like contagion to describe the ongoing effects of Original Sin. Sin is a disease that is passed on generation to generation somehow in our nature.

In the twentieth century we adopted a new mainstream language to talk about human nature and specifically, the sinful nature. It started in the previous century when a Catholic monk named Gregor Mendel started growing beans and taking notes. Mendel’s work eventually gained widespread prominence. And today we use the language of inheritance. A fine example of the narrative power of inheritance is the tv commercial from last year in which the young girl shows her parents her poor school grades and then matter of factly states, “Hey, don’t blame me. It’s your gene pool!”

The metaphors have perhaps enlightened, but nobody has totally explained human nature and evil. Nobody has explained it better than the doctrine of Original Sin. It’s an old doctrine with staying power. In John Milton’s Paradise Lost, Satan is allowed to escape from his infernal exile only to discover, “Which I fly is Hell; myself am Hell.” Or as Alan Jacobs notes the ancient lament of the tourist, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

That’s Original Sin. We take the evil with us. In twentieth century Soviet Russia, Alexander Solzhenitsyn found that the Gulag was a terrible place because both prisoners and guards had brought their evil with them. The Gulag taught him that. . .

“The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either – but right through every human heart.”

Now, let me say that believing there is such a thing as Original Sin or evil in human nature doesn’t leave you in a good place, and certainly doesn’t make you a Christian. It is the hope of the Gospel and receiving that hope that will save you.

“For God has consigned all people to disobedience, that he may have mercy upon all.”
Romans 11.32

So what of my original subject, our dear kids? The education of our children, spiritual or otherwise, but certainly spiritual, must begin by recognizing that there are things in them that need to be corrected, and there is a bent will that needs to be redirected to God.

Time does not heal all wounds. Bad behavior is not a phase - if not corrected, it’s a lifetime curse.

John Dewey, the father of modern American education, believed that children were inherently good and wise and all that we needed to do to educate (call out) them was to bring forth that inherent goodness and wisdom. There is something to this. There is much good in our children. But to teach them and help them to grow means to give them knowledge, wisdom, and instruction that they don’t currently possess by themselves.

I know a boy who tried get our of going to Sunday School by telling his parents he “already knew all the Bible and all that stuff.”

To which I said to the boy, “No, you don’t.”

Here is what we are trying to do as a church for our children:

– give them the Bible stories and the ancient wisdom
– teach them the Scriptures and Christian belief
– bring them to a decision of will to follow God through Jesus Christ
– model godly living and train them in the Christian way through spiritual practices



We do this through Sunday morning worship, which is the main way we are formed; through Sunday School, not just a cute phrase but it is what it says; and other special opportunities.

Your kids can’t learn if they are not here. They need your help. They need a ride. They need motivation. Hey, they’re kids (and sinners ta boot), you are the adult. You’re supposed to be more motivated than they are! This is more important than soccer or baseball or sleepovers.

Listen to the great American theologian and preacher, Jonathan Edwards on this matter:

“As innocent as children seem to be to us, if they are out of Christ, they are not so in God’s sight, but are young vipers. . . There is a corrupt nature in thy children which is a fountain of all wickedness and confusion. Will not you that are Christians, then show your Christianity by sensibly doing what you can that your children may have a better nature infused into them?”

The better nature he is talking about, of course, is the nature of Christ. Christ is the remedy for our children, and for us all.

The Answer to Disappointment

Herod was having an adulterous relationship with his own brother’s wife. Herod’s attitude was, apparently, “I’m King. I do what I want.”

There was no network news, no Internet, and no Hard Copy to report on Herod’s affair. There were no newspapers to splash lurid headlines. No official investigations would be made. Hardly an eyebrow was lifted; hardly a voice was raised in protest. Well, except one.

John the Baptist, whom many considered a prophet, had not been afraid to tell Herod,
“You are wrong in doing this. Stop it.”

And John kept saying that. It was irritating, embarrassing. This prophet was the fly in Herod’s ointment. Herod knew what he wanted to do with John – go medieval on him, and this before there even was a medieval! But John the Baptist was popular with the commoners and Herod didn’t want trouble with them. So Herod dithered and agonized and wished the problem would go away, you know, so he could have his adultery in peace.

Until one day, it’s Herod’s birthday. And his mistress, Herodias’, daughter gives a special dance performance for the event, and it so knocks his socks off that Herod promises to give her anything she wants in return. Herodias whispers in her daughter’s ear, and the daughter asks, “I want the head of John the Baptist on a platter.”

Whoa, this was brazen even for Herod’s ears. He was expecting the girl to ask for gold or a new pony or something. Herod winces, but he can’t go back on his word. Plus, if he bites the bullet and kills the prophet, then his little pr problem is solved.


For John the Baptist’s part, this is what he gets for telling the truth – beheaded. No good goes unpunished.


News of this reaches Jesus. And it doesn’t take much to imagine his reaction. He staggers. He has to sit down. The whimsical cruelty of the news takes away his breath. John was only doing what God told him to do. John was his cousin, his predecessor, and his friend. And they cut off his head and served it on a platter for the amusement of a spoiled rich girl.

“Now when Jesus heard this he had to get away from there. He went in a boat to a deserted place by himself.” Matt. 14.13


He needed to be alone. He had to wrestle with how wicked people could be, even among God’s chosen. John the Baptist was a good man, in his way, a great man. They weren’t worthy of him. Is there hope for these people? Are they worth dying for?

Jesus was naïve about the nature of human beings. But He also wasn’t immune to deep disappointment. He got sad. He got angry. He wept over the fallen condition of humanity.

He asked, “Will I find faith on this planet?”

If Jesus experienced disappointment then I guess it’s okay for us to experience that too.
Maybe you have been disappointed by your job or your income. Or maybe you’re a fan of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Hey, I understand.

But most likely, your deepest disappointments have to do with people. Nothing disappoints us like people that we are counting on.

How do we deal with this? What do you do when someone disappoints you?

Well, you can be depressed. Kathleen Norris talks about her own struggles and a Greek word, acedia, that helped her understand this better. Acedia has no strict English equivalent, but it has the sense of apathy, listlessness, boredom. Norris calls it “the noonday demon” when our minds turn away from beauty and delight and are tempted to wickedness, selfishness, or a general attitude of “Why bother?” If you’ve ever had trouble finding a reason to get of bed before noon, then you know what I’m talking about.

God knows our lives give us plenty of opportunity to be depressed. It’s a very real struggle. And the noonday demon waits for all of us.


Or perhaps your disappointment is expressed another way. You get angry- which is a symptom of depression. You blame and vow revenge.

That reminds me of a scene from Forrest Gump when Forrest meets Jenny in Washington D.C. at a protest against the war in Vietnam Nam. Jenny’s boyfriend at the time, a protest leader, ends up hitting Jenny in anger. He later tries to “apologize” by blaming his anger on the stress of a war thousands of miles away, and “that darned lying President Johnson.”

Yeah, President Johnson made you hit your girlfriend.

We can go to equally absurd lengths to rationalize our own reactions – hey I’m depressed/angry/vindicative/bitter because. . . .and I’ve a right to be.


Well, the world is wicked and disappointing enough to give us all reason to feel depressed and angry and bitter. But here’s the thing – we can’t live there.

If you have faith in Jesus Christ, who “for the joy set before him endured the cross and ignored the shame,” (Hebrews 12.2) then despair and bitterness are not options for you.

It won’t do, people, it won’t do. So how should we react to disappoint with people. You keep giving and serving. That’s what Jesus did. He didn’t even have time with his thoughts and grief for very long, because the people followed him to that deserted place. And Jesus saw them coming, sighed maybe, and. . .

“he had compassion for them and cured their sick. . .”
When it came supper time, the disciples wanted Jesus to send the crowds away. If they want supper they better get going.

“You feed them,” Jesus told his disciples.

These days we hear a lot about people “burning out” or quitting from disappointment. The thinking goes that “you can only do so much.” You have to take care of yourself. And there is something to be said for that.

But I look at Jesus and he just kept on giving. He had his alone time. He had his time of refreshment. But He just kept laying it down, you know.

And the happiest, most fulfilled people I know or have known are people who do the same. They just keep laying themselves down for others. They don’t look out for number one. They seem to be here for others, always. They don’t seem to tire as easily. When you say “burnout”, they laugh.

And God multiplies their good deeds and good words like loaves and fishes. Their lives are miracles.

You don’t have to let disappointment defeat you. Your life can be a miracle too. Jesus will give you what you need.

Knowing and Doing

I went to the Wendy’s drive-thru the other night. I was thinking “Baconator.” I had everyone else’s order. I got home with the food and looked and realized they didn’t give us what we’d ordered. They gave us the less expensive food for the higher price. I was mildly upset because this wasn’t the first time this had happened. You get all the way home and realize you’re not getting what you paid for. So this time, instead of shrugging it off, I acted. I called the restaurant. I asked for Wendy. I told them what happened and then I said,

“I would like you to send someone over with the food we ordered.”

And the guy on the other end laughed. He said, “We can’t do that, sir.” I was welcome to come over and get my food but they couldn’t drive over to me.

Service isn’t what it used to be. Now, to be fair to Wendy’s, I’ve experienced worse than that. Wendy’s gave us coupons for free meals later. Most businesses just give you a smirk or a cold shoulder. It’s the sales person on the phone while you are waiting for help at the store, which isn’t so bad until you realize they’re on the phone with their friend and they don’t want you to interrupt.

Businesses have problems with customer service. And they know it. They do polls and questionnaires. They hire outside consultants. They set goals and write five-year plans. “Customer service is job one.” But then nothing happens. They know what needs to be done but they don’t do it.

I’m glad as persons we don’t have the problem that businesses do. I’m glad that we always act on the knowledge we have. I’m glad that there is no disconnect in our lives.

Oh, wait, there is.

Jesus tells a parable about how this disparity between knowing and doing sometimes happens. He uses the metaphor of a farmer going out to plant seed in his fields.
This parable is often called the Parable of the Sower; but the story is really more about the soils where the seeds are scattered. The story is about dirt. And we are the dirt!

Some seeds fall in shallow soil, but they don’t last long and wither. Some seeds fall on hard ground and the birds come and eat them before anything can sprout. Some seeds fall among thorns and the seedlings that sprout are soon choked. The seeds are all good seeds, but the soil is poor.

Jesus later explains the meaning of this parable to his disciples. He says that whoever hears “the word of the kingdom” and does not understand it or receive it, loses it because the evil one snatches it away. A closed heart or a closed mind prevents them from finding God.

Other people seem to respond enthusiastically to the Gospel at first. But they are immature and without time to grow they inevitably come against troubles in their life. When life gets hard, they forget about God.

Still others are like seedlings among thorns – the thorns in their lives are really the very things their sinful natures crave: wealth, status, and other stuff they lust after.

These words ring true. But it seems so precarious, even unfair. I mean, shouldn’t God make it easier to be a believer?

The disciples thought so too. I know this because after Jesus told them this parable they asked him, “Why are you always telling parables?” In other words, why hidden meanings in stories; why not just come out and say what you mean? Give us the five steps, Lord! Give us something with bullet points!

Parables are an indirect way of teaching, but one that was not uncommon among the rabbis of that day, nor ever since. But Jesus seemed to use stories more than other rabbis, and his parables were more challenging. Why? He makes it clear.

“To true disciples of the kingdom, the truths of the kingdom are given. But those who don’t bother to search and find end up finding little, and even the little they have they will lose.” (my paraphrase) Matt. 13.11-12

I often try to encourage my boys to read more. They are often reluctant. Video games require less effort. I tell them that reading is good for them. They want to know why it is good for them. I want to say, and sometimes do, that reading opens up doors and kingdoms for them. Reading enlightens the mind and stirs the heart and imagination. Reading is its own reward. But I can only tell them. They will know it when they find it out for themselves.

The word of the kingdom is like that. You can listen to preachers talk about it. You can say you believe it. But you’ve got to experience it yourself. And to experience it you’ve got to do it!

Like Van Morrison once sang, “You’ve got to try for the Kingdom.” If you’re not willing to try, and persevere, what do you expect God to do for you?

No one ever drifted into heaven. No one ever accidentally stumbled on a deep relationship of any kind, let alone a deep relationship with God. But a relationship with God has its own rewards.

We settle for less, not because God is stingy, but because we are distracted. Are you missing the word of the kingdom for lesser things? Do you miss it cause you have to work all the time? God never said you can’t make a living, but if you have no time for God, then its not a living you’re making.

Do you miss the word of the kingdom because you’re “just so busy, you know, with the kids and work and trips on the week-ends.” Again, our lives are full, I know, with good things all, but God is the ultimate thing. Everything else is idols.

Our problem isn’t the knowing, it’s the doing.

St. Paul’s instruction to the Romans is, “Set your mind on the things of the Spirit and not on the flesh.” The flesh, the person still in prison to their sinful nature, cannot obey God.

“But you are in the Spirit, because the Spirit lives in you.” Romans 8.9

So believe and do. Believe and grow. Believe and persevere and let nothing get in the way of you bearing the fruit God intends in your life!

Listen to Jesus again:

“Everyone who hears these words of mine and does them is like the intelligent man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell – and it was utterly ruined!” Matthew 7.24-27