What Not To Wear

I have a confession to make – I don’t like weddings. I know. What’s the matter with me? Weddings are beautiful. They are the occasion of a couple publicly declaring their love and commitment to each other. What could be better than that? I admit, all that’s great. What I don’t like are all the little details; details like which usher should escort which mother down the aisle, and which pictures the photographer wants to take and would you mind if he stood next to you pastor, and whether the best man is going to show up late for the rehearsal and we’re all supposed to laugh about it and think it’s cute. Do I sound bitter? But all that aside, the thing that really has soured me on weddings, that strikes fear into me, heart and soul, can be summed up in two words – wedding coordinator. Nemesis, thy name is wedding coordinator. See, I can see some of you guys, you’re wincing too. You remember.

Someone just told me this yesterday: One of the shortest sentences in the English language is “I am.” One of the longest sentences is “I do.”

I’m just kidding. I still believe in weddings because I believe in marriage. And it’s a good thing because God believes in it. In fact, he says that the Kingdom is like a wedding banquet. Let’s look at that.

The kingdom of God is like a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. The invitations go out. But nobody responds. They don’t come. The king tries again. He sends messages – “Look, I’ve prepared this sumptuous feast. The decorations are gorgeous. The entertainment is first-rate. Everything is ready. Are you coming?”

But the invited guests don’t come.

I figure I’ve officiated at close to 100 hundred weddings and one big thing I’ve learned that you should always do if you are officiating a wedding, in a wedding, getting married at a wedding, or merely invited as a guest to a wedding – SHOW UP ON TIME.

One of my best friends got married a year ago last summer and we were invited. Jim and Adriana chose to have their wedding on Sunday, July 7th, 2007 at Cape May, New Jersey, right on the beach. I doubt you will remember but I was in church that morning here for first service and then I left and the Morris’ family quickly packed the car and headed to Cape May to make the wedding at 6pm that evening. Let’s just say that I made good time on the turnpike. I got us to Cape May before six o’clock, but barely. We knew the wedding was at the Sunset pavilion on the beach but we didn’t know where that was exactly. So we drove up and down that Oceanside stretch searching frantically for the wedding. At one point I got out the car and ran wildly over to a lifeguard station. I was like Dustin Hoffman in the graduate only I was yelling, “Wedding! Wedding!” The lifeguards were doing sit-ups but they kindly pointed the way for me. “No problem, dude!” they cheerfully called after Dustin Hoffman. And the Morris family found the pavilion and calmly slid into their just ahead of the bride walking down the aisle. In fact, I think Seth looked like he was in the procession. Don’t be late to your best friend’s wedding.

Remember that Jesus is telling us this story, and if you look closely at his life described in the gospels, he never seemed to be in a hurry most of the time. In fact, at least one time he was chastised by Martha for arriving tardy when her brother was dying. Jesus was never in a hurry, but he was always on time; especially on God’s time. Their was purpose in his actions. There were not wasted conversations or wasted days. There was a sense of urgency in his living. “I’m must be about my Father’s business.”

There is a sense of urgency for all Kingdom workers.

Unfortunately, too much of time the church is content to let the wheels of action turn ever so slowly. And if we are content to take our own sweet time all the time then we ignore the fact that there are souls perishing in this world who will spend eternity apart from Christ.

The king told his servants to convey this message to the invited guests – All is ready. There is urgency in that statement. The dishes are hot! The bride and the groom are waiting. The master is waiting. So invited guests, what are you waiting for?

Jesus made it clear that he would leave this earth, but at some fixed some in history, he would definitely return. In other words there is a finite amount of time between the Ascension and the Second Coming. This in between time is Church Time. This is our time to do our part for the Kingdom. We are his ambassadors. We are the faithful steward who reigns until the King returns.

Too many church people are content with the status quo just so long as they can keep the building open and basic services going until they themselves are gone. They have no thought for future. Worse, they have no thought for the present reality of so many people separated from God in their own communities. A church that doesn’t have a sense of urgency about reaching new people for Christ is not only a dying church, but a disobedient church.

Perhaps most churches with any kind of history have periods in their history of lack of urgency and focus on mission. How do you know when these periods of disobedience have occurred? The church will have generational gaps or holes in the body. You can look around and ask yourself which generations are present here and which are missing. The missing generation is the years the church just didn’t bother too much about.

Paul Borden suggests church leaders ask themselves this question: “Do we really believe that the majority of the people in our communities are lost to God and that being lost matters deeply to God? And is the mission of our church to join Jesus’ mission, which is to make new disciples?


The dishes are hot. Are we urgently sending out invitations?

The second thing I’ve learned about weddings is DRESS APPROPRIATELY. I’ve been in weddings in big churches and small churches, in backyards, on boats, on the beach. One couple wanted to get married in a cave. You can imagine that the dress code varied a bit, from formal tuxedoes to dress jackets and jeans. But I’ve never been to a wedding where it was okay to look sloppy. I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride said, “Sorry folks. I was running late today and didn’t get a chance to put on my makeup.” I’ve never been to a wedding in which the groom said, “Wow, we partied all night, me and my buds, I’ve haven’t even showered yet. Boy, do I stink.”

Of course, they don’t say that. They look and smell terrific. The tuxedo is sharp, the dress is breathtaking. They leave their flip flops and t-shirts at home. They do their best to be their best. And as an invited guest, so should you.

“When the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing a wedding robe, and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without the appropriate attire? The man was speechless. So the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Wow, that’s pretty serious. You better pick out the right shirt to wear. So what is the right attire in the Kingdom of God?

Is it good behavior? Well, it depends on what you mean. In the parable it says that after the invited guests had refused the summons the king sent invitations everywhere – all kinds of people were invited, “both good and bad.” And both good and bad came.

Invitation to the Kingdom is not based on our intrinsic goodness or our moral behavior. Clearly, the whole invitation rests upon the One who is inviting. But accepting the invitation means preparing for the occasion.

Ironically, in biblical times a wedding was not primarily a religious ceremony but rather a legal one. But what did happen was preparation. So much went into dress and setting, poetry and feasting. After the wedding, in some cases a week-long feast would ensue at the groom’s house. How would you like to have your new in-laws stay with you for your first week of married life? The point is, is was planned and not rushed. Presumably they made sure there was more than easy mac in the house. Food, drink, lodging, regal dress – they were prepared.

In the Kingdom of God, the best preparation, in fact, the only recognized dress code, is the converted life. Are you converted to the Kingdom of the Son? Have you given yourself fully to Jesus and allowed him to transform your character?

Remember the wedding guests who refused to come? They disrespected the King who invited them. But it’s equally disrespectful to come ill prepared to the great feast. As we discussed last week, our character is the most important thing about us. It is who we will be going into eternity. Are you ready to enter eternity as you now are? Or are there things about you that you wish you had the time or power to change? Well good news, you have both, with God’s help.

Having a sense urgency about your character, your soul growth, means diligent and consistent preparation. How is your prayer life? How much are in the Scriptures? How faithful have you been in worship? Do you have a small group?

“Many are called, but few are chosen.”

Folks, in God’s time, it’s much later than you think. Tomorrow can come upon you so suddenly. Especially that last tomorrow.

But the good news is, in God’s time, today is the right time.