Always a Bride

Scripture: John 4.1-26; 2 Corinthians 3.12-4.2; Galatians 3.28

The woman did not have the best reputation. She had been married and divorced five times. Okay, so the first four didn’t work out. But five? She was a serial divorcer. She was the second part of the headline – “Bad Men and the Woman Who Loved Them.” You might say she was looking for love in all the wrong places.

And it might be her poor reputation that brought her out in the mid-day heat for the hard work of carrying water from the well back to her home. Maybe this time of day she wouldn’t have to endure the stares or gossip of unkind neighbors. Whatever the reason, when she gets to well she finds she has company; a Jew by the looks of him.

Of course we know it was Jesus she met that day. But she didn’t know who she was meeting. She just knew that since he was a man and a Jew, she probably shouldn’t be talking to him. Like the neighbors needed one more thing to gossip about her!

But the man asks her for a drink of water and as a woman it was her duty to do it – though she questions him, “How can you as a Jew ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink of water?”

“If you knew who it was who was asking, you would ask of me and I would give you living water,” the man responds.

Remember, we’re reading this story a certain way, the way we usually read the Bible – we’re looking for the “big truth” or the metaphor. We read like we already have the answer and we’re looking backward.

The woman is doing none of these things. She thinks this is still about getting a bucket in and out of that well so this thirsty man can get a drink. And in fact, when Jesus says “I would give you living water,” he is still speaking somewhat literally. “Living water” refers to water that flows, moving water - a spring, a stream, or poured fresh water. In other words, not water that has been sitting stagnant in a pool or basin.

The woman wants to know how he would get this water since he has no bucket – are you better than our great ancestor Jacob? This woman is skeptical about this man’s claims. Her experience has taught her to be skeptical in regards to men making promises. Men break their promises. Men prove to be unreliable. What starts as happiness, in her experience, always ends in bitterness. She always ends up carrying her heavy buckets herself in midday heat, day after day.



How many married women and married men have come to the same conclusion as this Samaritan woman? You start a marriage with much excitement and promise and soon you find out that it is not what you expected, delight becomes drudgery.

Part of the problem is one of expectation. So many people go into a marriage with unrealistic expectations of their spouse. It would be interesting, I think, on the day of the wedding, if we all had the power to read the minds of the bride and groom as they looked at each other and said their vows. You know, maybe if they had thought bubbles over their heads, like in cartoons, and we could read what they really meant when they said their vows to each other. “In sickness and in health – but you better not get sick and you better stay a size 6” . . .or “for richer for poorer – yeah right, I didn’t sign up for poverty. We’ll never have money problems!”

Too bad we aren’t as transparent as cartoons with our thoughts and feelings. Most people don’t see their marriages as cartoons.

Most people look at marriage as an entry into paradise. Like those characters from Jerry McGuire – “You had me at hello. . .You complete me,” we walk into marriage expecting it to somehow provide the missing piece of the puzzle that is meaning and purpose and happiness for us. Adam and Eve, maybe, could walk together and reasonably expect paradise, but no man or woman since then.

Marriage was never promised as the entry to paradise. Paradise can only be entered by the door that has been appointed.

Jesus said to the woman, “The water you draw always runs out and you get thirsty again. But whoever drinks the water that I give will never be thirsty. The water I give them becomes a spring gushing up, a spring of everlasting life.”

“Where is your husband,” Jesus asks, “Go get him so he can share this good news.”

Why does Jesus ask this question? He knows this woman is living in sin and he knows all about her failed marriages. Jesus asks because he wants this woman to see her sin and more importantly, see her need for what he is offering her.

You’ve been looking for love in the wrong places. Love is found in God. God is found in spirit and truth. God is found in me.

Before this woman can decide to remarry or move out and remain single the rest of her life, she must first come to the One that she truly is destined for. To drink of the living water of Christ is to once and for all find your destiny and purpose in life. To find that purpose unlocks the smaller puzzles in our life of human friendships and singleness or marriage.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3.28

In other words to have life in Christ makes all other distinctions decidedly secondary.

If we are called to singleness, it is be a singleness of joy, and love. It is to be a singleness that is rich in friendships and rich in self-giving. In the words of Thomas Merton, “You are to be no withered root,” but rather a tree that bears much fruit for life and the Kingdom.

If we are called to marriage, it is be a marriage that understands we are fallen creatures in a fallen world touched by the grace of God. In marriage we learn the richness of forgiveness and sacrifice and fidelity. We find peace and joy in years of growth and wisdom. Every marriage that grows in this way plants a flag for the Kingdom on this earth, a banner that reads for all to see – “God is here.”

When we find Jesus Christ, the veil is removed and the walls come down. We are fully known and fully loved. No more need to hide and pretend. We have the Spirit and that means freedom. We turn our backs on the things that only brought us shame and we come to God for healing and new purpose. We become what Adam and Eve were meant to be.q

Jesus is the best man any of us will ever meet. In Christ, we are the best bride there ever will be. God calls us to abundant life in Him today.